take me to church....

... i have been thinking about this post for some time now.

I was not sure if i should really write about a topic that is actually very private and something i have not processed a 100%.

But due to various releases/articles in the last month and the fact that i am currently writing my first book on exactly this subject i had it on my heart to share my thoughts.

Why was/am i still afraid to say my opinion?
Well first of all i grew up in a church called "Freie Christengemeinde Wels" - a pentecostal church which i would say is a bit more "attractive" for younger people and people who are not so fond of the idea of sitting in a cold, old and "traditional" church.

Here in Europe a "pentecostal" church is not something you find on every corner like on the bible belt in the southern states of the USA.
Although the concept of this church is american, coming from the "RHEMA Churches" from Texas(www.rhema.org).

So i grew up in this church with about 200 to 250 members. how should i say... i guess i was always a bit of a dazzling personality.
At some point i didn't want to dress "normal" and i went thought my Hippie, Punk, Goth phase which i thought was great.
Happily my parents where also okay with that. (i would have don't it anyway).
So as i am writing this i can only imagine who will read what i write here. and some of the people who will appear in my book also i am still friends with on facebook and real life.

What is interesting to me is that every time i voice my opinion on the institution i grew up in people get personally offended because i criticize - not their belief - but the way it is brought to them.

For a very long time i was in this system as well but i thank god that through a life changing experience in 2008 i had the courage to say question and say "NO".

I once spoke to a good friend of mine who also grew up in this environment.
She had the courage to leave long time before i did.

"I am very happy that i am not part of this brainwash anymore, but because i was taught nothing else from day one of my life i still have a bad conscious that i left sometime." 

and some weeks later one of my favorite singers at the moment  "Hozier" release his world wide hit "Take me to church".

I could not find and other answer to give my friend(s).

My lover's got humour
She's the giggle at a funeral
Knows everybody's disapproval
I should've worshipped her sooner

If the heavens ever did speak
She's the last true mouthpiece
Every Sunday's getting more bleak
A fresh poison each week

'We were born sick, ' you heard them say it

My Church offers no absolutes
She tells me, 'Worship in the bedroom.'
The only heaven I'll be sent to
Is when I'm alone with you—

I was born sick,
But I love it
Command me to be well
Amen. Amen. Amen.

Take me to church
I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife
Offer me that deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life

Take me to church
I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife
Offer me that deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life

If I'm a pagan of the good times
My lover's the sunlight
To keep the Goddess on my side
She demands a sacrifice

Drain the whole sea
Get something shiny
Something meaty for the main course
That's a fine looking high horse
What you got in the stable?
We've a lot of starving faithful

That looks tasty
That looks plenty
This is hungry work

Take me to church
I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I'll tell you my sins so you can sharpen your knife
Offer me my deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life

Take me to church
I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I'll tell you my sins so you can sharpen your knife
Offer me my deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life

No Masters or Kings
When the Ritual begins
There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin

In the madness and soil of that sad earthly scene
Only then I am Human
Only then I am Clean
Amen. Amen. Amen.

Take me to church
I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife
Offer me that deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life

Take me to church
I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife
Offer me that deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life

When i saw the video and heard the song for the first time i had tears in my eyes.
I do not understand how people - and i have seen SO many - who are aware of so many topic like politics, gender awareness, art or other "worldly" topics are being crippled by a very simple religious institution.
People who first laid the base for me to say "It is okay to be different" , "It is okay to disagree" are now completely caught in a spiders web of lies, beliefs, etiquettes.

These experiences are why i am writing and voicing my opinions.


I want to finish with the words that my God is a loving god and loves me.
The or any Church does NOT offer you absolution.
It is about relationships and love. Nothing else.

MB