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So i was struggling for a time now with the thought of discussing political, racial, sexual and religious topics here.
Everyday, specially when i used to live in Europe, i was confronted with so much hate towards so many minorities or groups that it literally made me sick.

I got so angry or sad of it that i had health issues. Yet i am not the person who can just sit by and say nothing even it if would be the mature thing to do sometimes.

So i want to throw in a facebook posting i read by my dear friend and most awesomest queer burlesque performer / writer i've met in a very long time. Ms. Denice Bourbon.

For those of you who don't know who that is. Ms. Bourbon is a swedish performance artist and writer who uhm.... well this is really not about her LOL just go and buy her book and i'll PROMISE you you will not regret it!!!

ANYGAY! back to the story: Denice made me aware of a cover of a supposedly "queer" Magazine from Austria.

This is the cover:

To get straight (haha i hate that saying) to the point:
I don't get a lot of things with this cover.
How can a Magazine who claims to be LGBTQI be okay or even consider this as a cover option?!?

And the fact that it has been TWO Days without ANY public response is just despicable.

So i know that history classes here in schools in Europa hardly even get the the real history of Black people. Hell my Ex-boyfriend thought Spain had never anything to do with slavery, well they only just had the monopoly on it called ASIENTO - please read about it HERE

 Hell i even remember that in my middle school days we had three BOYS dress up ass black MAMMYS for carneval - i would scan in the picture, i know i have it but its in Vienna and i am here in Bali.

OR - i remember that some weeks before i left for my new adventure i walked into a very nice old church in Tirol, as i was checking the pictures of the christmas plays i was SHOCKED to also one blackfaced kid as a sheppard and the mere fact that BLOGSPOT ist underlining the word "Blackfaced" as red/false also upsets me.

All these examples are, in my opinon, the consequence of the deeply grounded racism western people have towards anyone who is not white.

BUT MARK! STOP RIGHT THERE! I'm not a racist!

Well all i am saying is that people who grew up in the white western world have is easier. its a fact. don't deny it. It would be the same as saying heterophobia excists (FUCK NO IT DOESNT!) - this time i am happy that Blogspot is marking that world red/false ;)

Another example right here from Bali.
This country used to have its own system. The female emancipation was way higher then it is today and the body awareness was never really a problem. UNTIL the Dutch came, told them to put on clothes, wear the right things and refer to them as boss.

All these things never really get taught in school. No i am not saying one should go through every single country which experienced racism from white people, the list would be to long and one would probably need an entire year for it.

Self education is in my opinion one the things most easiest to do these days yet hardly anyone does it.
Educate yourself. The times are over when you could simply say "im not a racists but this is kinda funny" - its not. your a racist. period.
Specially in the country side i experienced these things

"White man to balinese tour guide: So what do you do in Bali? grow fruit? or vegetables?" #majorfacepalm

"I don't like gays, but ur cool"

"My daughter LOVES the Band "the Gossip" but please don't tell her that the singer is lesbian"

"Why do black people always have to make everything about race"

"I am not treated any differently then anyone else because i am white"

These two pictures where taken 50 years apart from each other.
left: civil rights movement.
right: ferguson demonstrations.

Yes this is a picture from the USA, for european example please scroll up in case you forgot the coverpicture of Xtra Magazine.
So for those of you who don't like reading here is a Youtube channel i follow and i find super informative for a lot of things!



Hello Bali!

I have been in Bali since over one month now and was simply to lazy or actually not to lazy but to busy to post ANYTHING!
and guess what! i also didn't take any pictures yet! (all the pics here are from my IG)

Why? well i cant answer that i guess im not a picture person. i took some but do to the fact that my Iphone got stolen at PITSTOP Burger Restaurant two weeks ago i only have kinda shitty Samsung Phone.
And also my great insurance will not cover it because apparently they don't cover theft. Leaves me asking myself why tha fuck i even bought that insurance in the first place.

okay, so Bali!
What do i have to say after one month...
As most of you know i have never been here before and just decided to move here. I've known some people from my travels to Paris for fashionweek and i have one friend here i know since last summer. Pitzi, if i wouldn't have had her im sure things would have been a bit more complicated then they are now.

So yes, Bali is the "eat, pray and love" paradise for a lot of people! its beautiful here and living is very easy for a white Caucasian like myself.

But i think it doesn't take much to look behind the facade and see - once again - how christian missionaries cam years back and fucked up the whole system here. And to be honest this is still the reason for corruption here and i understand every single piece of racism Indonesian people feel again "us" whites.

But please! i don't want to impose that Bali is a beautiful hell!! Bali is pretty amazing! and i have met SO many new friends here in bali and i have to tell you bali people rock ;)

Currently i am producing my new collection and working closely with my manufacturer for shoes and bags! Mr. Rai is amazing and has a lovely family!
It is so nice to go to his place and talk directly to him (in english, i am still learning Bahasa Indonesia) and i can be sure that everything i produce there was made within a family business.

I feel that i still have a long way to go on this island and this is only the beginning.
Also, the direction of this Blog will change a bit. I am planing on taking on political themes in as well.
"But ma mama alsways said don't talk about religion and politics" - well i don't care about that ;) 

sorry not sorry!

and of course here are some pictures i could save of my Icloud before it got stolen at PITSTOP Restaurant! ;)

So this jungle swim i discovered as i was visiting my friends from Berlin who where traveling through Ubud.
Of course Mark managed to drink to much Coconut wine and fall of the swing three meters into the jungle and land on an Ants nest.

 pictures of my house in Canggu, calm your tits babes, i could never afford the whole thing on my own! not even in Bali. I'm renting it with some other people.

My friend Katrin, she was my first visitor from Vienna! YAY! Many more to come im sure ;)

This is Pepper. My friend Pitzis dog. he is small. he is cute. he likes to bite everything. end of story.

Me and pitzi, great woman! i am so happy to have her in my life now!!


INDIA PART 5 - Goodbye

Sorry guys for the long wait!
In Kuala lumpur my laptop decided to shut down and i was without all my data for some weeks.
Thanks to my new technician here in Bali its up and running again! YAY

So i was supposed to travel from Goa to Kerala on the 21st of december.
Note to self and everyone - You can NOT plan anything in India.

For some (higher) reason i simply forgot about my train. I think that that was a good thing due to too much relaxation n stuff ;)

So i got to spend Christmas with my friends Paul and Rebecca!
We dressed up all fancy and went out for dinner - so this means i dressed them and they looked all fancy ;)

Rebecca and me infront of our local "supermarket" called "Infant Jesus".
Infant Jesus is opend 24 hours (that means it closes at 9pm and opens about at 9am).
They sell beauty products, cigarettes and booze - such a blessing !

Anygay - i was not able to get a train until the 26th.
The Trainride was 18 (!!!!) hours.

Another note to Everyone who "warned" me about trains in india.
The Trains are totally okay!
there are 3 classes.

No Airconditioning but bigger windows and you get a simple bed to lie down on
Basically means in one compartment there are three beds on each side. You get a blanket and a pillow (yes they are washed regulary) the only thing that could suck about this compartment is when ur the lucky one getting the middle bed ;) because you can only lie down.
Best class. Beds, sheets, pillows, Airconditioner. all good.

But even in my 3 AC bed my butt hurt after 18 hours of traveling ;)

Palolem Beach - south of Goa

me and my friend Mary from canada (shes not the cow duh!)

Colomb beach. My favourite.

There is one thing that i will never ever lay of - my love for dogs. I do not care how old, how ugly or how many fleas they have.
(by the way, dog fleas hardly EVER go on humans)

Lisa from Sweden, Maria from Finnland, Me (whitestboyalive) and Johanna (from Sweden)

Buying raw organic Honey at the beach - which i forgot back at the hostel - TYPICAL ME!

So before i left for my new home Bali on the 29th i was able to spend some days in the far south of India. KERALA.
Kerala was probably one of my highlights of the entire india trip. I loved the more tropical climate of the south and i really enjoyed going through the backwaters and - as usual - eating everything i didn't know ;) i am SUCH a foodie!

Amanda a Advertising genius from Canada and me

coolest finnish chick on the PLANET ! my new found friend for life!
Ladies and Gentleman! the great! the GRAND the STUNNING Ms. TUULI !!!

lunch break from our boat tour (the people next to us did not enjoy the food that much as we did)

So since the 29th of december i am in Bali.
I have no idea how long i will be staying here. currently i am looking for a house but i am sure i will find one soon!
i can already say that this is only the beginning of a great year!
of course i will be posting about the things im doing here as well!

What i would like to say about INDIA:

So many people (a lot of them have not even been to india yet) have warned me about this and that and the other thing, spreading their white western knowledge about the eastern world.
I do not judge you for your opinions (only a bit, well actually i totally do!) but i suggest you come and make your own picture of India!
India is not Europe
India is not the USA or Canada

And that is good!
just don't forget it when you travel here. India can give so much if you let your self drift and get to know the culture.

Goa is not India. period.
its nice and beautiful but its not india.

If you want a realy India experiance - travel!
Forget everything people told you about and just DO IT and see what happens.

I do want to say that i am a WHITE MAN. and that i am sure it is something different traveling as a woman. I met great (female) people who traveled all over on their own.
I guess is comes down to: be streetsmart.
Don't do anything you wouldn't do back home, such as go home with strangers or take anything from strangers.

(Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, Allies and Pansexual)

- There is no such thing as GAY in India. Its called "MSM" (Men having sex with Men)

- There is no such thing as Lesbianism in India. Period.
- You can be transgender but only Male to Female.

I have talked to a lot of locals on my travels and of course as any place on this planet there is a LGBT scene. its just a bit harder to find.
In Mumbai it is pretty easy to find queer parties, i visited one at the Intercontinental Hotel on the beachfront road. It was loud. It was gay and it was fun!
No one got killed or hurt for making out with another man ;)

However i do not recommend walking the streets holding hands, woman and woman and man and women.
Men and Men can because it is also considered "cool" holding hands with your best (male) friend.
Don't ask, i do no know why.

What saddens me is that even in this community there is no room for emancipation of women. And as Men can not be openly gay they ofter - in order to be with their boyfriend/lover/partner - go Transgender because that is the only way they can be.
This is a point where India still has to learn a lot.
BUT - they are on a good way! there are politicians speaking out on these topics and (in mumbai) you can feel a change already!

India is amazing and definitely worth a visit. it will not have been my last visit!



We pretty much all have a picture in our heads when we hear about GOA.
Long sandy beaches, cheap booze, great seafood and a lot of drugs.

My friend Laura has been living in Goa for the last 4 years and together with her boyfriend they run 5 hostels along the coat all the way down to KOCHI.


Laura used to be the roommate of one of my best friends in Vienna.

I came to Goa via train, a "2 AC" train from Lokmanya Station to Margao Goa.
I was warned by several people not to take a train in India out of hygienic and safety reasons.
Well let me tell you this, the train i took was very much okay for me. You have two bunkbeds next to each other and bedding to lie down and sleep. Of course the coaches are not what we in europe are used to be as i also said so often before. It YOU as traveler who should adapt to the conditions here and not the other way around.

The beds where comfortable, the people in the train very helpdul - due to the fact that we had a delay and the stops are not written anywhere nor is there someone who announces the next stops.
So after a one hour delay i finally got to Margao, i was not exhausted i was not tired. I thought that a 12 hour train ride would wear me out but i was fine.

So i arrived at JUNGLE Hostel in Vagator at about 4 a.m. in the morning.
I have stayed in a single room for the last 4 Days now and i am leaving tomorrow.

I have met so many nice people and my time here - thank heavens - is not over yet. Im going to stay at several hostels by THE HOSTEL CROWED until my final leave to Bali on the 29th.

Nightmarket in Anjuna

Me in Arambol 

Sundowner in Arambol

The obligatory holy cow selfie

Me at Vagator Beach wearing my DRAGO Scarf ;)

What to expect when coming to Goa:
Well first of all one has to be prepared to see WAY more tourists then f.i. in Mumbai.
Pretty much every country is represented here.
Good thing is that almost every restaurant/Bar/Hotel has Wifi.
Life here is already pretty western i would say, you can get any food from Burgers to Mexican here, but also VERY good Indian cuisine! 
(i recommend Red Snapper Indian style - BEST fish i have EVER eaten!) 

When i took a bus to Arambol yesterday i saw that there are a lot of resorts and luxury apartment complexes, either they are open already or they are about to open.
I met a nice italian man whos been living in Goa since 1982. We could tell that i was kind of hoping to find the "real Goa" from back in the days. But according to him and what i have seen so far the Flower-power-hippie Goa has pretty much vanished.
Don't get me wrong, its beautiful and great here but Goa is not anything close to what India is.

So my journey tomorrow will bring me to one of the 5 star resorts for two nights, after that its further on down to Kerala.
I'll make sure to update as often as i can ;)

see ya!


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